But even though he was not present for things that I needed him there for as a child, I can't even imagine how it would have been like growing up without even knowing him. My father has always been there for me even though he wasn't physically there for me. And for that I am very grateful. As a kid I didn't see it this way. I was mad at him a lot for missing things that were important to me. I was jealous of my friends for having a father that could eat dinner with them every night. And every time my mother and I got into it, I prayed to god that he would make my father come home and STAY home. As a child and teenager, I prayed to god a lot. I especially prayed just before bed when I was sobbing after a bad fight with my mom.
Though my childhood was not easy, I still had my father in my life. My sister, did not. As I said before, I can't even imagine my life without my dad. I can't even imagine how she grew up not knowing who he was. I am so glad that she has found us and found who her father is and I am at peace with it. This young woman has found her brother, sister, and father. That my friends, is a miracle on its own. Sometimes we need to look at what we have and be thankful for it. Maybe that volleyball game that my dad missed wasn't so important after all. Just looking back at all the things that he missed just seems so small compared to a lifetime of not having him in my life. So if you take anything away from this at all, just know that even though we can't always have it all, what we do have and the moments we were able to share might just mean the world to someone else.